Things I have learned this Christmas...

My late and much lamented Grandmother had a Dickensianly awful childhood.  Her mother died when she was very small and her father remarried soon after.  According to family history this woman was the architypal wicked stepmother, there was no love in the house, no caring except for the necessary food, drink and clothing for Grandle and her brothers.  Her eldest brother left as soon as he could and took himself to Australia, where he promptly lost himself - hello to all those unknown Aussie relatives we probably have - Grandle was trapped in a loveless and joyless house until she met and married my grandfather and left to make a home of her own.
They had four children, my mum being the only girl and Grandle set about creating a home of love for them, her template was to do pretty much the opposite of everything she'd seen of family life.  All of them worked hard and did their bit in and out of the home, they were encouraged, nurtured and always, always shown how much they were loved and valued.
Grandle started her own family traditions for Christmas, every child had a stocking at the end of the bed on Christmas Eve, there's nothing like the excitement of reaching down in the dark of the early morning to find a lumpy, bumpy, stuffed to the gizzards stocking, where, the night before, there had been a slighly mishapen sock.  These little gifts were opened then rushed into our parents room to show them everything Father Christmas had given us.  Then on to breakfast, perhaps a nice boiled egg with soldiers...off to church (or a dog walk!) then back to open one present from under the tree,  the Christmas Dinner extravaganza complete with paper hats and bad jokes.  After lunch it was all hands to the pumps in the kitchen to wash up and sing favourite songs from musicals, the Queen's speech then finally the grand present opening...a gift doled out to all, one by one, round and round until all were opened.
This template for a perfect day has been passed down to us, the grandchildren and is now being passed on to our children...but it is never the same...because I'm now the one creating the pleasure and aiming for that impossible 'perfect Christmas Day'. 
So every year I try to improve it for me (and by extension for my loved ones) - and these are some of the things I've learned to do to bring back the magic for me..

• Get the advent calendars bought or ready in the last week of November, it kind of takes the shine off the excitement when you're cursing in the attic because you can't find the bloody wooden train...I bought myself a box of beautiful little glass baubles for an advent calendar for me, they were going to be placed lovingly on a white painted branch every day as my count down - I finally remembered and found them on 18th December, Merry Christmas...
• Decide what goodies constitute christmas nibbles, for me it's turkish delight, Quality Streets in a tin, truffles, After Eights, Matchmakers, sugar mice for the stockings (and me) and twiglets - I don't like twiglets but they are a good palate cleanser in between chocolates...and booze, plenty of booze, and mixers - you can't have a g&t without the t...
• Choose gifts in plenty of time, make a list of people to buy for and get it nailed as soon as you can...always add on a few extras in case of unexpected guests...
• Get those presents wrapped at least two weeks before the day...there is nothing worse than a late Christmas Eve night wrapathon, you are exhausted, there is still so much to do and the gifts go from being wondrous surprises, beautifully and lovingly wrapped to an ugly mish-mash of recycled wrapping secured by manky bits of masking tape because nobody can find any of  the many rolls of bloody sellotape that have hidden themselves around the house.  Tempers fray, carefully chosen gifts go missing only to turn up in January looking smug from their nice rest in a pile of sellotape - this also prevents any accidents where eagle eyed four year olds spy their presents and ruin the whole SURPRISE aspect of the day.  So take some time, hopefully download a good, spooky ghost story you can listen to as you wrap and get it done!
• Once wrapped, hide them away!  But don't forget where, really, DO NOT forget... that way madness lies...
• Be one of those boring people who get cards/gifts sent in the first week of December, job done and satisfaction guaranteed.
• Decide on what you're going to be feeding the masses on over the festive period, menu plan - and make it easy! 
• Clean the house thoroughly a week before the Day, then again on the day before Christmas Eve, that way there's only pick up cleaning on Christmas Eve to do (and maybe a quick go round with the Dyson because all the bloody needles are falling off the tree).
• Get the kids to tidy and clean their rooms - Father Christmas does not deliver to messy bedrooms, sorry but that's the rule, it's out of my hands, blame the elves...
• Christmas Eve, prep everything you can for the meal, veg, sauces, table cloths and place settings all ready to go...
• Wear something that makes you feel pretty on christmas day, it was only when I got ready for bed that I realised I was still wearing my nightie under the clothes I'd thrown on, and that I had been wearing my apron all bloody day...
• Many hands make light work, everyone needs to muck in and clean the kitchen after Dinner, the dishwasher needs to go on - or you'll be handwashing plates to feed the multitudes come the evening when all you want to do is collapse...
• Don't rush through the day...eat slowly, I like to say we eat the French way to honour my husbands heritage - more truthfully I am not the most organised cook and I can guarentee that any plans to eat the main at 2pm will result in us sitting down at 3...let it go, take it easy and you'll avoid indigestion.

So I follow some of my Grandle's traditions and add some of my own, things change - for me the must watch broadcast on Christmas Day is not the Queen's Speech but the Dr Who Christmas Special, I will never allow a Christmas Sack to replace a stocking - part of the fun is fitting it all in and the recipient reaching all the way down to the bottom for the sugar mouse! 

So this year, once more, I will be working out what worked and what didn't and what I'll do next year to nail that perfect christmas...I just hope I remember the list and find it before Jaunary 2014...